Creations

2007-03-07T10:30:00.001-05:00

A lost soul,
In a world of people galore,
A wandering mind,
No where particularly inclined…

Coldness engulfs the heart,
Now nothing tears it apart,
Hard as a stone,
Break it- like sand it will be blown…

Trying to fit in,
Rules of self, from the beginning,
Trying to belong,
While remaining strong…

Sensation of dé·jà vu,
With each passing day it grew,
Jinxed feel,
Never leaves the heels…

Eternal Quest of utopian land,
Thoughts are all bland,
Meandering like a river,
No sweat, no shiver…

A storm within,
Ravaging everything,
Leaving barren grounds,
And nothing but emptiness profound…

Creative Time pass@office..

2006-07-06T09:05:00.000-05:00

I rise up and start anew,
I look up and throw down my blues,
I dance and I smile,
I am at peace for a while.
I can love and I can fly,
Life is no more dry,
my world is sunny and bright,
its an end of a long night.
Each passing day gives me hope,
I feel like trotting around the globe,
my fears have abated,
and my soul has elated.
As a person I have grown,
and I no longer groan,
With my pain, I can now deal,
my wounds are all healed.
I will not look back and cry,
I will give chance a try,
My spirit will never shake,
I have risen and now I am awake...

2006-06-24T22:59:00.000-05:00

"koi itna paas na aaye,
ke dil ko dard de jaaye,
koi itna na rulaye ,
ki aansoon sab sookh jaayen.
kyun aata hai aakhir dil kisi pe
dil aisa na kisi par aaye,
ke tanha kabhi usko koi chod jaaye.
kisi ke dar par jo hamne di dastakh,
raasta hi woh badal gaye,
koi aisi rah na dikhaye,
zindagi bhar ko gumrah tumhe jo kar jaaye.
aitbaar kya karen is dil ka,
har kadam par isko humne behlaya hai,
koi kya samjhaye kisiko,
nasamajh ban jo daaman chuda jaaye.
saath reh kar bhi na jaana saath,
dil ko ab yeh hua ehsaas,
koi kya saath nibhaye kisika,
haath se haath jo chuda jaaye... "

Life shows many colors..some happy some sad...read this somewhere today and realised once more today that life is not just balck and white.. Infact it has more shades of grey than 1 can ever imagine..people cry over love when actually no one knows what love is...a friend recently shared his thoughts over love and must say really intriguing ones...was impressed and thoughtful at the same time.. Acc to him, Love is no longer there.. its just a commodity one wants for himself these days...with love there is no expectations...and this would make all the love claims void.. all the love poetry void...all the heartbreaks meaningless...coz love means just giving...u love someone not expecting that the person will stay with you forever...you just love...

last few days @Infy

2006-04-26T13:45:00.000-05:00

never knew resignation cud be so boring!! I mean how else to kill time apart from coming late, taking long breaks ,leaving early,Calling, chatting, emailing etc etc

what rotten luck, everyone busy when amz free... this is just not done :)
missin the lovely sunshine so that I cud atleast go out and well.. just enjoy :)
forgot my ipod at home, so music is a luxury today...

i'll make sure next time I resign I have a POA to be implemented in the post resignation days!!
till then hope I wil find some ways to make the last couple days bearable :)

Adios 'A-City'...

2006-04-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known..."

This song from Greenday is the one that comes to my mind as I prepare myself to start anew on yet another journey,life is taking me to...Days rolled by and befoe I knew, it was time to bid farewell - to the city that I have started liking so much.. Atlanta..to frnds with whom I gel so well..Chonal,Eeeeenya,Priye, Pushp, Shantanu, Tuman...Guess, such is life..

Sonal's last friday night in Atl, didn't know will be so memorable...starting with finding yet another different place and increasing the gang size from 4 to 7...it was fun all the way..Even the pouring clouds cud not mar the enthu n the dedication to "Chill out completely"...

Started with Localuna, only to find there is 2 hours wait period and then hopping off to another chilled out place, and then being disturbed by the buzzer in the middle of taking the Tequilla shot...Confused between which place to opt for now, finally Localuna won :)..packed from Vortex and there we were back to where we started from!

After an evening filled with Food, Dance, and music (ofcourse the accessories too!!)...it was again a standstill...what next ..babes was in no mood to go back home...everyone wanted FUN so Sutra was the next destination....after hours of good leg and butt shaking, it was time to go home, more so coz it was time to close down the place :P...

slept all the way back home.. and then was in a completely sozzled/dreamy state so didn't know what happened next...all i rem is i woke up in my cozy bed in the morning :) with a very nice feel!!

Will cherish these memories forever...

"So close, no matter how far, Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are ,and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way,Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say,and nothing else matters"

Lost in Transition

2006-04-05T09:33:00.000-05:00

Life takes many turns..At times you feel lost.. even when you don't want to..Hard to take decisions, hard to analyze, hard to really know what you want..More so when its not just ur life ur talking about..

Life is like a station...a short halt for sometime before u finally move on again...Its like weather...constantly changing...its an ocean..having it moments of highn low tide...

Not sure how to go from here...where to go from here, when to go from here..this here is nowhere...
Lost in Transition...

Weekend @ Nashville...

2006-04-03T09:45:00.000-05:00

@Nashville is a beautiful city, more so because of the people living there…amidst great confusion about to go or to not, finally decide to give in to the temptation of enjoying my last few weekends in US…did I ever make a wiser decision!! There we were , 4 of us..driving out on a Friday evening with great plans only to have them thwarted by the interstate traffic L nevertheless, patiently we crawled thru..n finally had abt 100 miles of pain free driving and then with the descent of dark, came heavy downpour…0-10% visibility I guess.. Don’t know the techs of driving J so there we were in the middle of the road, trying to decide what next when we see a big truck in front of us.. God Bless the driver…We followed him like a cat follows a mouse J only he thought we are tailgaiting n he shifted lanes many times…But we are nothing if not persistent!! We never left his behind, till the the time the rian was all gone and we felt confident that we can drive again :P that is without shadowing nyone J..the weekend was great…it was home away from home…had everything.. intelligence, scolding, care , leg pulling, shopping, home food, cards..don’t know where to stop n where to start… Thanks to Sonal, Vinaya,Priya, Sriram,Saumitra,Sameer and the best of all- Anu and Karthik..they made it a memorable trip...with great reluctance started back on Sunday evening again in the middle of a heavy downpour…Only this time it was still light..didnt need a daddy truck to guide us!! Made it safely to ATL…will cherish this time forever!

Bed Atlanta...

2006-03-27T11:07:00.000-05:00

The first time I read the name it conjured up many exotic images in my mind :P and I knew no matter what, I have to give it a shot...

So there we were 4 of us, in our brand new Impala, all exquisitely dressed up , looking as beautiful as we could, acc to the instructions received while making a reservation, and searching for directions!! Thankfully, we didnt didnt lose our way and rached safe and sound and in high spirits...

and what a place it was!! never before in my exp of "$%^& " yrs, had I received such a welcome before.. it was amazing, and I already felt like a queen, romping down the path to see my courtiers!!

I was told that the "bed" availability is on a first come first serve basis, and there I was praying fervently for one..and voila!! were my prayers ever answered so fast !!

the host took each of us to the place I would have seen only in my dreams otherwise..I was speechless..Dim light, flowers, silken sheets only added to the immaculate setting i had seen ever...

It wasn't untill I heard the hostess welcome us and explain abt the menu and how to "eat" in bed, did I come out of my trance n ofcourse dreams!!
Must I add that the food was amazing???
It was the Best restaurant that I have ever been to -till date...

Celebrating a year in US...

2006-03-24T20:31:00.000-05:00

Still rem the first time, I was told to travel to US..it wasn't a news..I was expecting it..only the duration was 3 months..Never knew it wud reach to 2 yrs!! Still rem the excitement I had...not because I was coming to the US of A...coz i was getting a chance to travel to a new destination where I could satisfy my hunger - for travel...
what a journey it was..still scared to go back even for a vacation at teh thought of enduring 1 full day of travel..hopefully the direct flight wud save me!!reched Atlanta somehow and what a shock!! US was so big , so very diff from "Sweet London" - the place I had fallen in love with as soon as I had landed@heathrow...
nyhow, took it in the spirit, hired a cab and I was all set for my excursion from the Arpt to the aprtment complex where my frnd was waiting for me...This was just the begginning...

My life tok a complete turn..where I had everything served to me on a silver spoon in UK, US was complete opposite..one is handicapped here w/o a car!! the initial hickups lasted 3 months and then some in which all I could think of was London n how I could get back there.., which somehow i had come to think of as " My London "...
It was the trip to the MardiGras and the "Sin City" and of course the NYC which did it...I actually started liking US, which I had strong doubts about!! But then...

one cannot go visit these places everyday,especially when ur far away deep down in south..ATL the "Hip Hop Hub"...
Life stores many surprises 2005 was the best and the worst yr of my life..2006 didnt start on a cheery note also but then one thing I realized and that made me feel somewhat better!!That I actually have fallen in love with this place - ATL and that I have started enjoying hip hop!!and hopping on its tunes :))
Took me almost an year but yes finally, Atlanta roped me in, with its vibrant night life, amazing restaurants of course cool dudes " yo man!! "...

Completed a yr on the New Year's eve.. waiting for another now :))
Hope to write back with the same fond memories at that time too!!

Why...

2005-12-01T12:25:00.000-05:00

One of the few lucky one's to have a window seat in office, i contemplate all the why's today :) well, maybe not all, but many!! My ID not workin so that's less of work till the time it starts working, and here I am making the best use of paid free time!! Looking out I see various shades..of trees ofcourse.. green, yello, red and it looks like a web...i can only see the tops and they are all different..I sit and realize this is what my life has become too. If I sit and analyze it, i find various shades...Not that I am not happy :) Ofcourse I am...onsite Bench, not many ppl are lucky enuf to have that:) what have I got to complain!! taking life as it comes has become my fav pastime...trying to live in moments, when the whole life is nothing but a moment. hard to decide, which is "the moment"...so confused these days, dont know where this sine curve is taking me now...is it up or down? i have had my shares of down, and I am expecting more down's , so logically if I apply Murphy's law now, the curve should be taking me up :)... phew!! isnt it amazing!how in as little as a blink of an eye, everything goes haywire...I wish i had more control over all this...but the only control I have for the time being is over myself... hope to maintain that atleast.. alrite, too much of this acsurdity for today!! my ID better start working today, or I have to start the trend of modern writeup's.. contemporary to modern art, which makes no sense at all!!!!!

Vaada

2005-11-27T18:01:00.000-05:00

Aankhon mein meri chupi hai kahani
Baat kyun tumne shabdon ki maani
Jo sun paate yeh mook juban
To samajh paate jo dil kare hai byan
Man dhondta hai ik muthi aasman
Kaash kahin hota hum dono ka jahan
Na ho koi gam, na koi parchaie
Hai ik nanhi si duniya sapno ne sajayi
Samete hue dil mein tere liye pyaar
Baith akele karti hoon, bas tera intezaar
Tere aane se hua hai roshan yeh sma
Angdai li armano ne, badla mera jahan
Na shikwa hai koi, na koi shikayat
Humne to ki hai bas teri inayat
Baat rahenge hum bas yeh hoton par liye
Jaanti hoon , na sun paoge jo hai dil mera kahe
Ik andekhe bandhan ne dono ko baandha hai
Na bolenge tumse kabhi kuch, aaj yeh vada hai…

Life takes many turns..and here I am at another such turn.. the difference- i expect them more often now.. they don't trouble me anymore...I live in the moment.This one for my perfect moment,the perfect person, whom I will cherish forever..This time its different...Had never thought that I would reach here.. But its like being in a fantasy world and wait.. till this dream is over and then back to reality....

What you are to me...

2005-10-14T14:31:00.000-05:00

In this world unknown, there are people galore
I pass by some, for few become a friend
But I passed by you, and my world just blew…
I wonder what you are to me
Why every time you make my heart skip a beat
I never felt this way, will this feeling stay…
I think of you and I sway
Without you my days are gray
My nights are blue, where are you…
I dream of you all time,
You are always on my mind,
I am scared to know why
Can you hear my silent cry…
If I am an ocean, you are my shore,
Don’t let me go, please hold me close
I need you like air,
But I don’t know you have gone where…
You don’t even know I exist
My fate, oh, what a twist
If only you could listen to my heart’s plea
Accept my love and set me free…

Perfect Moment

2005-10-05T14:15:00.000-05:00

What is a perfect moment… was having a discussion with a friend and I said its just a thought or a need.We want to feel that something is perfect and it is, be it the perfect person, perfect situation or anything. Its just a matter of mind. How we perceive some things different from others. There can be many such perfect moments and so frequently that at times I sit back and think, wow! How could it be so good. and then in the blink of an eye its all gone. What he said I don’t remember exactly, but it was on the lines that every moment is a perfect moment. The moment we try to hold on to it, it becomes imperfect.
Really liked what he said. Many times I have felt a connection with people, with places, with materialistic things.. I find that its just perfect. And after some time , the need vanishes or something happens and the perfection is no longer there. At times it hurts, at times its bitter sweet. But the objective is to move on. Never cling to anyone moment.
All moment’s can be made perfect by just moving on…

Without You

2005-09-26T13:23:00.000-05:00

Under the blue skies,on the open lands
I sat beside you,my hand in your hands
I felt a connection,I was filled with a warmth,
I could see you everywhere,It felt very strong.
I didnt know what to say,I didnt know what to think,
I felt in my disconnected life,you were the missing link.
I reached out for you,to hold on to you
I wanted to gather you close,and take you to my abode.
I knew you felt the same,but still you held back,
I could see it in your eyes,
Was it not even worth the chance?
It was over even before it started,
It was the way you wanted
You never said the words,
And one day you walked off,
We were not meant to be together,
but still I dream of you,
under the blue skies,on the open lands
thinking of you and without you.

This one trigered out after reading a book, or watching a movie, don't remember...reminds me of my first poem which I had jsut written and when friends read it, they asked me who is the inspiration where as there was no one... I write this one and tried to think to whom can I dedicate this one... Came up with no name! wow, isnt it amazing!!!

I miss you & I wish you would-

2005-09-26T13:18:00.000-05:00

Miss me too,
Let me live with you,
Love me like I love you, maybe more…
Hold me close.
Dream of me,
Be there beside me,
Take me far away,
Love me all day…
Hold my hands,
Look me in the eyes,
Fly me through the skies,
Need me till I die...
Help me find a way,
To make you stay…
Let me show you how I feel,
Let me tell you, for me what you mean…
Let me say the words, as much as I want to,
Let me talk to you, till whenever (& whenever) I want to!
Tell me what I mean to you,
Tell me if you need me too….
Tell me we’ll be together
Tell me it will last forever….

At times, just sitting idle creates so many thoguhts...some good ones, some unnecessary ones... Don't know which one this would classify as :) but this sure is a thought...there have been so many songs over the years, depicting the same thought!! here another form... dedicated to someone special!!

Tamanna

2005-09-22T17:36:00.000-05:00

Ek tinke se the pade hue,
Apni hi jag mein khoye hue,
Ek aandhi aayi aur uda le gayi
Ek duniya nayi usne humein dikhlayi…
Kaash koi woh duniya phir mujhe lauta de
Kaash koi woh waqt phir mujhe lauta de
Sab haseen tha tab, aisa yakeen hai ab
Kaash koi woh sapne phir mujhe dikha de
Chale the ghar se door, hosla tha dil mein mazboot
Khai thi ye kasam, haarenge na kabhi hum
Kaash koi woh zazba phir mujhe lauta de.
Nikale the ek nai dagar par, na koi tha humein dar
Kaash koi woh himmat phir mujhe lauta de
Baith ti hoon sochne ab,
To lagta hai kahan badla hai jag
Wahi aandhi hai ab , jo thi tab
To kyun is baar hai mujhe itna gam…
Kyun hai chah us duniya ki,
Jahan aankh maine pehali baar kholi thi
Kyun na main bhi aandhi ban jaaon,
Jab bhi man kare ud jaaon….

kabhi kabhi man aise hi kuch sochta hai.. It was on one of these times that I wrote this one... Was just browsing through mails and it kind of became nostalgic , started missing the place where I started my new life-Bangalore.. till the time I was there I used to crib, where am I... But now that I am far away and know that it will never be home for me again...I MISS it... a lot more than I thought I ever would...

'Rishtey'

2005-09-22T12:28:00.000-05:00

Kuch rishtey bante nahi
Kuch hum banate nahi
Kuch ban kar bigad jaate hain
Jinhe hum sanwar paate nahi
Hote hain jo dil ke kareeb,
Jaane se unke hoti hai taqleef
par rok unhe sakte nahi
saath reh jaati hai bas umeed
yunhi chalta hai carvan zindagi ka
koi bhi ise rok paaya nahi
kahin par Milan, kahin par judai
yeh baat kyun ab tak samajh na aayi…
kiska hai ye intezaar dil ko
ke nadan yeh samajhta nahi
jaane wale kab laut kar aaye hain
woh apne kab the,
woh to paraye hain
rishtey bante hain, toot jaate hain
kuch Kathi mithi yaadein chod jaate hain
sanjo lo mithi yaadein sapno mein
zindagi guzar jayegi bas aise hi palon mein
samajhte hain hum bhi shayad
barikiyan in rishton ki
Phir kyun inki udhed bun se
hum nikal paate nahi…

This one is too close to heart.. what started as a jsut a time kill with a friend back in college developed into something so meaningful we had never thought it would be that good... that was 'Rishtey' .. this one is 'Rishtey revised'... I didn't remember what we had composed .. Akshay reminded me.. felt like giving it form again and this is what I came up with, kuch purana, kuch naya, but the same essence...

Oblivion

2005-09-20T16:07:00.000-05:00

Oblivion

In these times when I'm alone I wonder,
is there someone for whom I long?
no hopes, no dreams,
a dread feeling around me creeps
let down by all, let down by god
i dont know where i belong
i crave for results, i long for them
as if everything is suddenly muddled
i can fight no more
i wish i could lose myself in a world unknown.
utopia is not even in thoughts
for me every road is blocked
i'm lost, i cant carry on
why is it that i have to be strong
i wish i could just drift into oblivion
never to wake up in this reality.

This is how I have felt often...But this is the way I don't want to feel..At tines all one can do is write.. its like words come out by themselves and you just need to hold the pen... This is exactly what happened when I was writing this one...